But I’m not gonna sit around and waste my previous divine energy,
after my mock GCSEs (in which I didn’t do as well as I could have) where I was running a race amongst my peers. I was running and running, but I was so behind and the majority of my classmates were ahead of me. Back then, I took the dream to be a sign that I had to buck up and study so as not to be last in this so-called “race” I was dreaming about. And I did buck up. I did well. But now, looking back, I’m starting to think that the dream meant something completely different. Now that my friends are graduating and I see people getting fantastic opportunities and moving on, it feels like that dream had a bigger meaning. Back then, I thought it was merely my anxiety playing through my subconscious, forcing me to be better, and maybe it still was, but now I feel like it was more of a reminder than a warning. That this “race” that I feel like I’m constantly running is a marathon, not a sprint, and that I’m not there now, but I will be eventually. I have to remember that…and wait for my time.
Today for you, tomorrow for me. Never a truer word spoken.
Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel and from here on out I’m not gonna feel anything new, just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.
We sit around and talk, about our day, friends and family. While we drive I’ll hold your hand or caress your thigh. Music playing, me rapping or singing along as cars fly past. With friends they smile at us and tell me how happy they are that you found me. In restaurants we place our phones at the…
I really need to stop staying off this site so long, every time i come back, i understand nothing.
Better late than never they told me, while failing to mention that in cases of love and war, being late will only get you heartbroken and killed. Both likely feel the same.